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I swear life is trying�to make me Bi-polar depressive. I had a really good day enjoying the student life n all. Was late for a lecture, didnapos;t do any work, went round a guyapos;s house for soup. Even after college was good because i managed to make some friends that I didnapos;t really expect to be able to so quick. Wycombe seems to be good for interesting people to just cotch and talk about shit. Iapos;ve never lived anywhere else though so other places might be better but theres no one like a bunch of mash heads that basically love to stay out.

Going to that guys house for soup has really made me hungry to leave though. Get me wheels rolling and go somewhere new and exciting. University is the perfect vehicle for this motion but I canapos;t close the opportunity to go travelling and meet people from around the world. I wanna leave. I wanna be independent. I wanna make my own decisions in life. Iapos;m not a horrible brat that hates his parents, I just dont care about them very much, theyre a bit of a nuisance.

I went round Miaapos;s again today. Which i shouldnapos;t be doing. I need to de-seminate her from my life and my mind. The less i care about her movements the less up-tight i will feel. (my god im such a fucking stalker) She hates me bitching on about how I hate that sheapos;s moved on. (but i have no one else to talk to and no where else to escape to) What made it worse was we had a disagreement about my motives towards one such girl. In the past Mia has been quite happy to let me think what I want because she knows that iapos;m not stupid enough to do anything... Stupid. As soon as I get the freedom to do what i like though she turns around and starts having opinions and causing problems. Iapos;m sure people would aggree that its not fair how she has a level of control over what I do with my life, yet I have no say over what she does with hers. To a degree i beleive myself and that iapos;m being served a great injustice, but she is right. By doing what sheapos;s doing sheapos;s preventing me from becoming and idiot and damaging my reputation. I am in the lovely state where i have a reputation for being a nice guy (although is that a good reputation?) and I shouldnapos;t damage it if i can avoid it. My parents live here and they want to see me being responcible.

Iapos;m going to just keep drifting, and in the mean time, im going to get Mia out of my head, plan my escape and hopefully have some good honest fun along the way.



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